Come and See

Text: John 1:43-51

I don’t know where it comes from. But there is a tendency in me to avoid pain consciously or unconsciously whether its mine or someone else’s. Don’t get me wrong, I have learned how pain helps me grow. Pain helps me understand the complexity of life. It makes me a more mature person, spiritually grounded and balanced. It connects me to others on a deeper level. But despite my belief and knowledge, I find myself constantly running away from pain. I wonder why. Sometimes it’s just too much to bear. Sometimes I don’t want to admit how fragile I am. Sometimes, I’m just tired of being in pain. So, I use various strategies to deal with my pain. I use anger. Growing up I was angry at the world for no reason. That was my coping mechanism to hide my pain. I put the blame on others, figuring out who is at fault. Or, I try to minimize my pain, comparing it to others. There is, however, a danger of avoiding pain. While doing so, I can’t accept who I really am, and therefore I can’t love all that I am. For, love is not partial but all encompassing – embracing the good, the bad, and the ugly.

There is no question that everyone in the world has experienced some kind of pain in this time of the global pandemic. You have experienced it. I have experienced it. How have you dealt with your pain? Have you tried to avoid it as much as possible? Or have you welcomed and embraced it? A most common strategy people use is to minimize their pain by comparing it to other people’s problems that seem to be worse. I have heard people say, ‘at least I have a place to sleep, food in the fridge, family who support me, and friends that I can phone, so I consider myself lucky.’ Sometimes that positivity comes from a place of gratitude. Sometimes that comes from a place of denial. By looking on the bright side only, we may think whatever we try to avoid is gone. However, whatever we resist persists. (Carl Jung) The more we resist anything in life, the more we bring it to us. Think about anyone you hate, or you have hard time accepting or forgiving. The amount of passion we put into that person is the power we give to whatever we resist. While focusing with strong feelings and emotion, we attract whatever we resist. So, we end up experiencing the exact opposite of what we hoped for in the first place. We may use various strategies, including minimization, to supress our pain. By doing so, however, we may end up experiencing more pain. We need a different strategy. We can choose to welcome our pain and embrace it.

There is a great invitation throughout the gospel according to John. “Come and see.” It’s an invitation to experience whatever we experience as fully as we can, not resisting it but embracing it.

That invitation first comes from Jesus in John 1:35. When two people begin to follow him, Jesus asks, “What are you looking for?” “Rabbi, where are you staying?” “Come and see.” It’s an invitation to fellowship and relationship. To follow Jesus, we must leave what’s familiar and known and go into the unfamiliar and unknown. There is no way for us to know what the journey will look like. The ingredient for discipleship is not certainty but trust. It’s the act of putting one foot in front of the other that sustains our journey with Jesus.

That invitation is shared among the followers. Philip tries to talk to his friend Nathanael about Jesus and begins to get some push-back. “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Instead of arguing or preaching, Philip invites Nathanael to “come and see.” It’s like when I try to explain to my friends about a popular Korean dish, Bibimbap, mixed rice with meat and assorted vegetables. I can’t capture the fullness of the dish just by talking about it. I must invite my friends to come over to my place and let them try it themselves. So, all I can say is “Taste and see.”

Now that invitation is passed on to people in Samaria, the religious-ethnic outsiders and enemies to Jesus’ followers. The woman at the well engages in a deep conversation with Jesus. What starts as a simple request, “Give me a drink”, turns into self-discovery and spiritual quest for the living water. Having run to tell the good news, she gasps out to everyone, “come and see”. What is significant about this story is how the journey of personal transformation moves the whole community. “Come and see” builds the bridge between different cultures and groups, and between a personal spiritual awakening and communal transformation. 

Jesus himself heard that invitation to come and see, and heard it from people in pain. Jesus has just lost a friend. Lazarus dies and his family and community mourn their loss. Jesus asks, “Where have you laid him?” “Lord, come and see.” And Jesus begins to weep. In the midst of loss and grief, the community does what they can. They invite Jesus to see what they are going through, and to be with them in their place of pain. It’s important to notice that no one knows if Jesus will be able to raise Lazarus from the grave. Mary’s accusing words, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Indicate everyone is already in the place of deep brokenness without hope. “Come and see.” That’s all they can say. That’s all they need to say. So, Jesus goes with them. Jesus is willing to go with them even if it’s painful to do so. That alone can give enough comfort and strength for the community to be able to stay in their place of pain. They don’t have to know if Jesus will raise Lazarus. What matters most is that Jesus comes to stay in the most uncomfortable place, sharing the same loss and grief.

This insight gives me an answer to why I try to avoid pain. When I feel lonely and alone in the pain I feel, I tend to avoid it as much as possible. Nothing is more painful when the grief we experience can’t be shared. The good news is that we can invite one another and Jesus to come and see. That can give us enough comfort and strength to stay in our place of pain. “Come and see.” Let us invite one another to be the bridge. “Come and see.” Let us invite Jesus to walk with us. “Come and see.” That’s how we can welcome and embrace whatever comes our way together.