Nothing is Wasted in Love

Text: Matthew 5:1-12

Life After Death by Laura Gilpin (1950-2007)

The things I know:

how the living go on living

and how the dead go on living with them

So that in a forest

even a dead tree casts a shadow

and the leaves fall one by one

and the branches break in the wind

and the bark peels off slowly

and the trunk cracks

and the rain seeps in through the cracks

and the trunk falls to the ground

and the moss covers it

and in the spring the rabbits find it

and build their nest inside

and have their young

and their young will live safely

inside the dead tree

So that nothing is wasted in nature

or in love.

I don’t know how exactly the dead go on living with us, the living, but I want to stay open to such a mystery. In fact, I find myself in need of support not only from the living but also from the dead. In a new world where most of us are confined within four walls - unless we are essential and frontline workers - we desperately need to communicate beyond the physical realm. Now is time to draw the best of who we are and who we can be into our daily routines. To do so, we need all the guidance and wisdom from our ancestors. Otherwise, this pandemic journey we are on can be very lonely.

As of today, more than ten thousand people have died in Canada, and more than 1.21 million people have lost their lives to covid-19 worldwide. Setting new records has become a daily reality. These are not just numbers. Every single one of them had a story, leaving their loved ones mourning. It has been also difficult for those who have lost their loved ones during Covid-19. Not being able to gather as family and friends has increased the pain of loss in the already broken hearts. 

One of our dear friends, Norm Harvey lost his wife, Nora on June 8. Due to travel restrictions and the 14 days of quarantine, his son, who lives in Ontario, has not been able to come to Manitoba. So, a memorial service has been put on hold, and we do not know when it will happen. We are learning to live in limbo, trying to find a way to grieve in between times. Speaking with Norm last week, I heard his deep longing to bring his family together. “The sooner it ends, the better it will be” said Norm. I have learned a parallel between what he was going through during the World War Two and what he is going through now. After joining the army in 1943, Norm served one year in Canada, and two more years in oversees. After the war was over, Norm had to spend many days anxiously waiting to get home where his loved ones were waiting. He is now anxiously waiting for a family reunion so he can properly honour the love of his life, Nora. In both circumstances, Norm’s life was interrupted by what’s going on in the world, but he was able to preserve his values, goals, and inner light because of the people he loved. Norm’s dedication and commitment to Nora has been inspiring to me. While she was with him, Norm went to be with Nora every day whether she was in the hospital or nursing home for six years. It was only Covid-19 that prevented him going to visit his wife. Whenever I asked him about what kept him going, he told me that he could not help but come and be with Nora. The love they shared has continued and will continue to go on just in different ways. For, nothing is wasted in love. 

A friend of mine has lost her mother and her grandmother recently in less than two months apart. She couldn’t be there for either of them. She said, the waves of grief are sometimes palpable. Last weekend, while walking in a park she felt an impulse to just stop for a moment, she turned her head and saw an owl looking right at her. She had never seen an owl in the wild before. I found her story deeply meaningful that I wanted to share with you. She wrote on her Facebook page. “Does it matter that owls were profoundly meaningful to my mother and that I just happened to be there at that particular moment in time to witness this? I deeply believe so. Is it “just an owl”? Of course, it is also that. But what if our loved ones are more than able to make their presence known to us from their new reality? What if it is now our job to learn their new language of communication to listen deeply and receive the gifts, they are still able to bestow upon us. That story fills my heart with love and bestows my life with meaning. I imagine it is wonderful for those in Spirit as well to continue to be actively loved and remembered.” Nothing is wasted in love.

I couldn’t say it better myself. My friend’s insight opens new possibilities of how the dead go on living with us, the living. Traditionally the church has proclaimed the promise of our reunion with the dead and the Christ after we die. Such a conventional message, as described in the good old hymn, Shall We Gather at the River, has never brought me comfort. In fact, I would rather experience communion with those who have shaped who I am today while I am still alive. I miss their presence, wisdom, and guidance so much so that without my relationship to them, my life is not whole or complete. Our youth oriented and death denying culture leave us little room to honour the dead in our midst. Unless we attend a funeral or memorial service, we don’t necessarily remind ourselves about our shared destiny as mortals. We all die, and we all miss our loved ones. That provides enough reason why we need to make space where we can experience our connection to those in Spirit and possibly working together for the greater good. Nothing is wasted in love.

Reading the Beatitudes in the light of the need for such a space, I believe that Jesus is addressing not only the living but also the dead. Indeed, the context, the time and place of Jesus speaking the beatitudes shows how lives of the marginalized are at high risk: the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake. Controlled by the power of the world their daily living is not guaranteed. Death is felt closely. They cannot help but think about all those who have lost their lives because of what was going on in corrupt systems. By proclaiming the Beatitudes, Jesus invites both the living and the dead to work together to bring about God’s justice and love to the world.

A colleague of mine, who is also a beekeeper, shared with me what she learned from bees by sitting with them and listening and watching. She said, they are intelligent, thinking creatures with an admirable social system. Their behaviour is all about the greater good of the hive, they work together to achieve “world peace” in their hive. Each hive is separate and hums along in harmony with its residents. The buzzing of a hive is at 432 Hz, the same as Om in yoga, the vibrational frequency found in all God's creation. They care for the lost and wounded and take good care of one another. If one is lost, the others fan the hive scent into the air to help the lost one home. 

I don’t know how the dead go on living with us, the living. But I believe that we need each other; the dead need our love and remembrance, and we need their wisdom and guidance. So, when we are lost, those who have gone before us send us messages to bring us home, helping us to live as our truest selves. Nothing is wasted in love.