Embracing the Child
Text: Mark 9:30-37
Sometimes, we speak words that we think are true in the present but become more true as we age. In 2007 I was invited to give a speech at the graduation ceremony from an English language school, downtown, Vancouver. Holding my 1-year-old baby Peace in my arms, I addressed to the whole audience, “this is my real teacher!” Some of the older teachers at the school nodded as if they knew what I was talking about. Well, I don’t think I knew back then. But now, I can affirm with my whole heart that my children are my teachers.
Though I am speaking from my own experiences as a parent, I acknowledge that this kind of learning is open to all of us whether we are a parent or not. We might also learn from nieces, nephews, and a neighbour’ kids, as well as learning as coaches or mentors.
The gift of parenthood is to be able to see myself through my children. I see my vulnerability in their struggles. I feel my joy through their happiness. Though my childhood wasn’t always happy, I was surrounded by lots of loving and caring people. I wish somebody had taken a video of how I was loved and cared for. I just have a vague feeling of being loved, and some fragmented memories here and there. My somewhat unclear picture of my childhood becomes more tangible when I pay attention to my kids.
I now see how my late brother took care of me when I see how my older boy looks after his younger brother. When I am so tired of doing the endless housework, I remember the care my mother provided, and my heart feels so tender. I appreciate how my parents and grandparents were patient with me despite my infamous stubbornness when my own patience has run thin with my kids. Being with my children, I am constantly reminded of the love and care I received, and the love and care that I wish I had received when I needed it most. The hard truth about parenting is that I can only love my children as I love myself. Turns out, parenting has much to do with accepting and embracing all that we are. That’s why parenting is hard and yet very rewarding. It’s a life-long task. No one can achieve perfection. We can only strive to love more fully and deeply day by day.
I wonder if that’s what Jesus meant when he said, “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me.” It’s a radical invitation to love and embrace all that we are including our vulnerability. At the time of Jesus, children were the most vulnerable members of society, and the last of all in social standing. Children were not outcast, but they were not heard nor seen as fully humans by adults.
The culture in our time is not dramatically different from that of Jesus’ time in terms of how we understand children. It was only a few decades ago that we, adults began to recognize the rights of every child such as the right to protection, provision, and participation. (Convention on the Rights of the Child, 1989) The English expression, children should be seen but not heard, indicates what kind of culture many of us have been brought up with. From the early stage of our lives, we were taught not to express ourselves fully but to supress our emotions. We even praise our children when they behave like us, adults! We try to make our children fit into the social norms at the cost of their imagination, freedom, and spirituality. No wonder many grown-ups are still searching for answers to questions like ‘who am I?’, ‘what’s the purpose and meaning of life?’, and ‘what’s my true identity?’
I wonder if Jesus remembered the incident that happened at the temple when he was 12 years old. Mary and Joseph brought their young boy Jesus to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover. When the festival was ended and they started to return, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. When they realized that Jesus went missing, they began to search for him for three days. I can only imagine the terror Mary and Joseph were going through with all kinds of what if questions. Hearing Mary’s words upon finding her boy, we can tell that she was extremely frustrated at his non-conforming behaviours. “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.” At this point any parents would expect to hear some kinds of apology from their child. Much to their surprise, the boy Jesus didn’t say any words to admit his mistake. Instead, he responded in a rather shameless and even rebellious manner. “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” I’m sure his response turned the parents’ world upside down. The story, however, didn’t end there. What followed after was both conventional and extraordinary. The Bible says in the following verses, “Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart.” By adding the words, “Jesus was obedient to his parents” I can smell the cultural pressure the writer of the Gospel was feeling reporting this incident. Even the most religious among us wouldn’t want their child to disappear for three days! Yet, by adding how Mary took what happened seriously, the writer also gave us a hint of what could happen when we embrace the child who challenges any existing boundaries.
We don’t know whether Jesus remembered being found in the temple when he was teaching about welcoming the child. But we can imagine what Jesus did and said turned their world upside down just like he did to Mary and Joseph when he was 12. Here Jesus wasn’t just talking about welcoming a stranger. Instead, he revealed the presence of God in one of the most unsettling and tangible way possible - God through a little child. The little child represents the vulnerable, the powerless, and the voiceless. Jesus is challenging us to reverse our cultural norms so we can celebrate God’s presence in the most unlikely place through the most unlikely person.
Sometimes, we speak words that we think are true in the present but become more true as we age. The question that the 12-year-old Jesus gave to his parents, “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” is still echoing in the challenge the adult Jesus gave to the disciples - welcoming God through a little child. I wonder what can happen to us when we start embracing the child who challenges any existing boundaries.